Arjuna Enquiry

By Les Bien

After the events of the last week, the ICC has announced a full scale enquiry into the game that the Savs suprisingly lost, the week before. Skipper Arjuna, who had been away for a few games, made a suprise return to the squad which is now littered in "deceit, lies and scandals," according to FDICC expert Richie Bendover. It can now be reported in the lead up to this scandal, Arjuna was seen meeting with the opposition captain at a five star hotel in the outer suburbs of Melbourne. "I nkow notings", said a startled Arjuna as we getting into his BMW 5 series. Further speculation has increased as the ICC had reports from team mates Dabs and Tucan that on the way to the FDICC, Arjuna crashed his car into the side of a bridge while on his cell phone. Police have been able to link the phone call through to the prestigious, Centre Bet in the Northern Territory. Before the game the Savs were considered 'bet of the week', but in the minutes leading up to the game there was a dramatic plunge on the other team affctionalty known as the 'kers'. Battered Savs went from $1.01 to $2.40 within 14 minuntes. Team mates have been rumoured to be hurt and dissapointed while another, Apoo said that "you all need to understand that this is the way of us men from the subcontinient. We either come to this land of opportunity and work at the 7 eleven or take up a few dodgy bets where we see fit to feed our families".

Due to the ongoing investigations, Arjuna will not be allowed to take part in the upcoming match and has been sidelined by the ICC until an official hearing has been heard. Dabs, a fellow team member has been quoted as saying, "Good I hope that prick goes to Jail", while others have been quick to defend there embattled captain. "He's a good bloke, really... I think," said Grouch as he left the team training session with tissues in his right hand." All is set to be revelaed in the next few weeks as the Battered Savs march towards the much awaited first premiership.