By Johnny Tap
Melbourne Cup day today produced some magic both on and off the track today as a bat apparently belonging to everyone's favourite indoor cricket side, The Battered Sav's, was found inside Cup winning Makybe Diva.
In what is being touted a "freak accident" or perhaps just some good 'ol fashioned horseplay, the bat slid out of the champion mare's arse in a rather vigorous bowel motion just minutes before the big race. Officials could not believe their eyes as the willow, still warm from the night before, dropped to the floor. The horse's trainer also said he saw tears coming from Makybe Diva's eyes as she tried to pass the bat. The bat was also inscribed with the words, "stick it up 'em Makybe!".
The whereabouts of the bats owner, "Bozo", is still unknown but other Sav's could help shed some light on the situation. He was last seen drinking at the Five Dock Hotel with the rest of the team last night. Some eyewitnesses have said they overheard Bozo muttering something about fixing a horse race, and his plans to go to the track tomorrow with Arjuna. A Sav, who asked to remain anonymous, said today, "there are a few sicko's in the team who seem to be obsessed with anal stories and stuff either being shoved up someones arse or something coming out of it!"
Anyone with information on the whereabout of Bozo are asked to contact CrimeStoppers.
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