WHO WILL BE IN, WHO WILL BE OUT?

By Arjuna

This is the question on people's lips all over the country as the battered sav look to finalise there squad in the lead up to the possibility of there first premiership. After many failed finals across 3 different venues, the Sav's aren't going in too confident as the Sheik of Tweak loom as a major threat.

Statistical analysis has shown some major suprises as too who is actually contributing from week week to week and the selectors are faced with some major questions in the next week. Much debate rages as to wheter the selectors look to play just the one spinner in apoo or also bring young tempter into the squad and wait to see the pitch condition on game night. Much speculation has emerged over the state of the wickets. According to officals at the FDICC the wicket to prepared is to "offer a bit to both the bowlers and batsmen". "In case of rain we may be forced to implement dramatic repairs as seen in the 1995 Australian tour to the West Indies where the Jamaican officials were forced to fuel the pitch and light it with a match". FDICC officials have reinforced the fact that they will do everything in there powers to keep the roof on in the lead up to the big night.

This also brings into question the debate over the middle order batsmen. Hollywood, Tucan and Grouch have all but sewn up there spots and speculation is being fuelled as to who will be brought into bloster these 3. Slick, Reebs, Dabs, Apoo and Kel have all been throwing there hat in the ring with the impending finals looming and sneaky leaving Australian shores for the 'Oil for fresh produce and meat programme'. As afore mentioned young tempter is also doing everything to catch the eyes of the selectors with a great performance 4 grades above in 1st grade on thursday night. Rumours persist that his bowling was first class although batting was 'one to forget'. Dabs has been soild over the last 2 weeks with only 1 dismissal in between all of his dabs, misses and LBW in the outdoor version of the game. Speculation has been fuelled that he may be drug tested with the sudden speed increase which has eleviated calls to hang up the bat.

Selectors and fans alike have been looking to the heavens to make sure that the umpire courtesy of Silverwater prison is left to serve drinks and not officiate in the game of the year. Dabs has come out saying that he is even willing to perform 'special favours' in order to ensure good decisions. Slick has been asked by selectors to put aside his undisciplined antics and keep his head down over the final qualifying game. The middle order may open up even more as Grouch and Hollywood may be called in for 'family duties' over the semi final week period. Grouch has wedding anniversary commitments while Hollywood is expecting a liitle one on Monday of that week. This may place pressure on selectors to bring in fringe dwellers to carry the hopes of a nation.

What will happen? All we be revealed in the next fortnight. All that we can say for sure is the sav's will be using the Australian Socceroos as motivation whatever the situation.

Sneaky has also been asked to pull his finger out and focus on business meetings as opposed to putting his 2 cents worth from the other side of the world. "Comparing the Savs to a church volleyball game is outrageos and he should be reprimanded said sav stalwart, Tucan."