TUCAN TO BE FIRST SAV CELEBRITY

By Almost Over

The Federal Government of Australia has announced this morning, that Battered Sav superstar, Tucan will appear as the star of there new 'Work for the Dole' campaign. A series of 5 adds will appear on prime time television to further enhance John Howard's fading popularity with 'middle class Australia'. A government spokes person has confirmed the rumours and told of his selection to the campaign, "Tucan embodies much of working class Australia and we thought we would ride him to the polling booths. He works hard, drinks hard, abuses the odd fellow motorist and many see him as an inspiration as he guards the back net like a modern day homophobe, at the FDICC each week".

Rumours are circulating that in the first add he will be seen as a volunteer worker at a homeless shelter for abused gay men, where he assists them through the recovery process. The add was originally to be set in a bar until it was revealed that it was probably best for Tucan not to be in there for undiscolosed reasons.

Tucan has been approached for a comment, while choosing to give no official comment but went onto add "it's very true. I have been a long time admirer of John W Howard and see it a privelege to star along all sorts of people."