UNICEF probe Savs

The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) is lobbying the International Cricket Board to hold an inquest into the Savs internal handling of incidents involving their young star recruit Pananannannnaan.

The loveable young Sav, endearingly dubbed “the Little Bananannanana” by fellow Sav Kel (who’s penchant for all things small is starting to disconcert many), has been bought before the juvenile court on multiple charges of assault and possession of un-named prohibited substances.
UNICEF envoy for Australian child sport stars, Harry Kewell, has expressed grave concerns for the welfare of the young Sav, and has bought into question the decision of exposing the player to international stardom at such a young age.

“The decision to repeatedly select Young Banananas [sic] in the Battered Sav’s starting line up shows an absolute disregard for his safety and welfare. Not only are the games played well past his bed time, but he is constantly being exposed to an explicit adult world of gambling and alcohol.”
“You only have to look at the recent activity of Sav senior players to understand why the young Pan [sic] has acted is his way. Reckless punting, insobriety and outlandish purchases at a recent Melbourne Cup function by Tucan, McCool, Reebs and Kel have not assisted”.

UNICEF has not ruled out taking legal actions against the Savs and the player’s older brother and Manager D’Annanannanan on charges of child labour and exploitation.

A media release is expected by the close of the day by Sav’s management.