Thorpe Quits Swimming to Join Sav's

Laurie Lawrence.

The House of Five Dock

Ian Thorpe has thrown in the towel on a brilliant swimming career to join top indoor cricket team, the Battered Savs.

In a shock press conference held today at the prestigous House of Five Dock (a dark, stale function room out the back of the FDH), the big swimming star revealed he had been offered a job he couldn't refuse with the big team.

Stating that he liked the vibe and feel about the Savs, the world record holder was particularly taken with the teams new away strip. "I think this look is me, you can dress it up, and bingo, you're out on the town. Or you can dress it down, and just lounge around the house in just the team shirt and a bit of bling bling below, its just so Sydney right now.... so 2007!"

Team spokesperson on all things queer, poofy, a bit dodgy, or just downright gay- Kel, said today, I am starting to get p*ss off with this immature comments from some people who can't get over a grudge. If people have a problem with me or then be a man and say it to my face, if not build a bridge and get over.